Clarity
by MegTDJ
Summary: Missing scene for Holiday. Janet reflects on the motives for her actions. 12 in the Love Comes Softly series.


Title: Clarity  
Author: MegTDJ  
Category: Missing scene; drama  
Rating: K+  
Pairing: Daniel/Janet friendship  
Spoilers: Holiday, Gamekeeper  
Summary: Missing scene for Holiday. Janet reflects on the motives for her actions. #12 in the Love Comes Softly series.  
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1, its universe and its characters are not mine. The story itself is, however, so please don't archive without my permission.

Author's notes: There may be some confusion over the order of the latest missing scenes in this series, so I'm going to warn you ahead of time - I'm going by the order they aired rather than the order they're listed on the DVDs. I'd created this timeline for Daniel and Janet long before I got the DVDs, so... yeah. You don't have to point it out to me, because I already know. ;)

Mucho thanks to Kerri for the helping hand. smooches

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

**Clarity**

_"Well, everything seems fine. Yeah, all your numbers are normal."_

"Good. I feel fine."

"Yeah? You just, you seem a little out of it, Daniel. Is there something bothering you?"

"No. I'm just... exhausted."

Snatches of the day's conversations kept flooding into Janet's mind, making it impossible for her to sleep. She still couldn't believe she hadn't realized something was wrong long before she had. If she'd instructed Daniel-in-Machello's-body to stay on the base overnight for observation, maybe this whole mess could have been avoided.

She should know by now that strange things are going to happen in this job, she chided herself. Why did she go so easy on Daniel today? He'd been zapped by an alien device they knew nothing about, for God's sake. Why did she believe him when he said he was just tired?

Even as she asked the question, though, she knew the answer. She just didn't want to admit it to herself.

_"Hello there. It's okay. You're safe. You're on a planet called Earth. Do you know who you are?"_

"What's going on?"

"SG-1 gated to your world, and you instructed Dr. Jackson to touch a device that then knocked you unconscious. Do you remember..."

"Why are you talking to me like that? It's me... Daniel."

"Yes, Colonel O'Neill told me you might say that..."

"Dr. Fraiser... Janet... it's really me. What the hell is going on? Oh my God... what happened?"

"Easy, just lie back and rest. You're very sick."

"Where... where is he?"

"Where is who?"

"Machello. He... that machine... it must have done something to me. You have to find him... make him fix it!"

"Okay, if you're really Daniel... prove it."

"What?"

"Prove to me that you're Daniel Jackson. What's your birthdate?"

"July eighth. Janet, this is ridiculous..."

"Are your parents living?"

"You know damn well they're not! They died when I was eight in a museum accident, and not only was I forced to watch them die that day, I was also forced to relive it over and over a few months ago by the Gamekeeper. Is that good enough for you, Dr. Fraiser?"

Janet groaned when she thought back to how reluctant she had been to accept the truth. Daniel, trapped inside the body of a man who was old and dying? She just couldn't face that reality. And not just because it seemed unbelievable... but because it was _Daniel_.

She'd been denying it for months, but it was true - it was different when something happened to Daniel. She took his injuries and illnesses much more personally than she did those of her other patients, and it was getting worse.

Much worse. She remembered feeling attracted to him from the moment they'd met, but then she'd learned that he was searching for his missing wife. That was enough for her to brush those feelings aside and just be thankful that he seemed interested in being her friend. When he'd come back from P3X 808 earlier that week, however, his face had lit up at the sight of her, and he'd rushed to embrace her before she even had a chance to register that he was there. In being taken off guard like that, all of those feelings had come rushing back, and she was having a hard time ignoring them this time.

Then today, seeing him lying there so sick and helpless and frightened, she'd finally had to face it - it wasn't just a physical attraction, as she'd been trying to tell herself. Machello-in-Daniel's-body had done nothing for her whatsoever. It was _Daniel_ who had that subtle magnetism that somehow managed to draw her in before she even realized she was moving. By the time the whole mess was over and Daniel was back in his own body again, she'd had to admit it to herself - she could quite easily fall in love with Daniel Jackson.

But dammit, he was a married man, and her patient to boot. He'd never given her any indication whatsoever that he was attracted to her, so why did she have to go and develop feelings for him? Forbidden fruit? Her own little way of proving her mother right when she'd said all those years, "Honey, you have worse taste in men than your aunt Sylvia, and you know how _she_ ended up"?

She almost always wanted men she couldn't have, and on the rare occasion that she wanted one she _could_ have - her first husband for example - he turned out to be a real jerk. She didn't want to include Daniel in that kind of company. He was much too good for that.

Not that it would matter one way or the other, of course. Daniel had been rather cold towards her since returning to his own body, no doubt because of the way she had grilled him about who he was when he'd first woken up. She couldn't believe she'd asked about his parents. How stupid could she be?

She sighed heavily and kicked off her covers in frustration. Might as well face the fact that she wasn't going to sleep no matter how hard she tried, she thought. She dragged herself out of bed and plodded down the stairs, aiming to lose her worries in ice cream and black-and-white movies.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

By the time morning rolled around, Janet had gained a sense of clarity about the situation. She was a strong, professional woman, for God's sake. Daniel was her friend and her patient. There was nothing wrong with leaving it that way. It wasn't like she needed a man in her life, nor even the fantasy of one. She had a great life - there was no sense in pining over what she couldn't have and missing out on what she had already.

With that in mind, she returned to work somewhat tired, but in much better spirits than when she'd left the night before.

She hadn't been there long before her new resolve was tested - Daniel walked into the infirmary for his scheduled check-up.

Janet steeled herself when he walked in the room, but soon realized it wasn't necessary. Her pulse was steady, her palms were dry... any indication of physical attraction had been successfully abolished. _Eureka_.

"Good morning, Daniel," she said cheerfully as she walked over to the infirmary bed he had perched himself upon. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay," he said, though his body language suggested otherwise. His movements seemed slow and calculated, and his eyes didn't hold the same sparkle they usually did.

"Just okay?" she asked.

Daniel winced and gave her a sheepish look. "I don't know what Machello did while he was in my body," he said, "but... I was up all night with indigestion. I don't digest onions very well."

Janet grimaced in understanding and tried her best not to laugh. "I see," she said. "Any other... side effects you feel you should tell me about?"

Daniel sighed and pursed his lips. "Just... guilt," he said.

Janet was more than a little puzzled by this statement. "Guilt? Daniel, you didn't..."

"I don't remember everything," Daniel interrupted, "but I do remember our little... debate."

"Oh. That." Janet folded her hands in front of her and looked down. She was tempted to tell him she'd been up all night with guilt and various other feelings flowing through her mind, but she kept quiet and allowed him to continue.

"I, uh... I realize how it must have seemed when we first came back. I mean, for all intents and purposes, I was... Machello. I know you were just doing your job by interrogating me, and then bringing General Hammond in to interrogate me some more..." He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture and rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I just thought I should apologize for snapping at you."

Janet's heart melted at the sight of him sitting there looking at her over the rims of his glasses with that cute puppy dog expression on his face. "You're one in a million, Daniel Jackson," she murmured before she could stop herself.

"Excuse me?"

Janet cleared her throat in embarrassment and quickly stepped away from him. "No apologies needed, Daniel," she said. "I'll send one of the nurses in to draw some blood."

_"So much for clarity,"_ she thought as she made her escape. _"This might just be harder than I thought."_

The End


End file.
